The Marvel DubSmash War Of SDCC 2015 – When Agents Collide, Everyone Wins!

The Insightful Panda

This past Season on Agents Of SHIELD and Agent Carter, we saw a lot of ‘almost’ Civil Wars: Coulson’s S.H.I.E.L.D. vs Gonzales’ S.H.I.E.L.D., Agent Carter vs the SSR. Thankfully those two resolved peacefully and it seemed like we’d have to wait for Captain America: Civil War to see the next battle. Well, we were wrong because a new war brewed this past weekend at San Diego Comic Con when all these Agents met up at the fists lip syncing flew! DubSmash War!

At approximately 8:08 PM on Jun 10th – sometime after the Marvel TV Panel – the challenge was issued by Clark Gregg (Agent Phil Coulson) and Chloe Bennet (Agent Skye/Daisy).

What was this strange new battlefield? Hayley and Atwell (Agent Carter) and James Darcy (Edwin Jarvis) were up for the challenge, but first wanted to practice a little…

… and then, officially accepted the challenge 2 hours later that…

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Four Years–Where Has The Time Gone?

Hello, my fellow bloggers and loyal readers! Sorry I haven’t posted one of these things in a while–been pretty busy. Anyway, I will try my best to catch you all up on what I’ve been up to.

First things first, I recently had my very last choir tour, April 16th – April 19th, with a homecoming concert that Sunday at 3 pm. I will admit, a part of me is going to miss it because I liked seeing the faces of young musicians light up, hearing us sing extremely complex and rhythmic songs. I also liked how being on choir tour showed the future of Lakeland College that you DO NOT have to be a Music Major to sing in choir. I, myself, was a Music Major for most of my Freshman year. However when I found out I had to do recitals…I couldn’t handle the pressure. In the end, I was happy with my decision to switch from a Music Major to a Spanish Major, with a Music Minor. The ONLY negative about choir tour–The excessive concerts. Yes, they are cool, but when you do 10 concerts in FOUR days…that’s where I draw the line.

But I digress, this isn’t a blog to complain. This blog is about reflection, time and accomplishments. In exactly 12 days, I will be graduating Lakeland College with a Spanish degree, and a Music Minor. I can honestly say, I never thought I would make it because of the stupid, complicated changes happening here, but that doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I did it, I actually did it. And to think, my Freshman Year, I wanted to drop out because I thought I couldn’t handle it. Turns out I needed time to settle down, and get a handling on things. I did have my trials and tribulations, but they all lead me to where I am now.

Another thing I’ve come to realize about myself over these four years–I’ve been straying from my Faith and God. I never used to do that in the past, I have no clue what changed. I guess it all happened when I found out I had Anxiety and Depression. I got so angry with God, because I blamed him for making me this way. I thought it was His fault because I felt like a screw up with my mental illness. Now I realize, He made me this way because He knew I could fight through the battles I was faced with, and come out on top. Granted, I’m still having some issues, like low confidence and low self-esteem but I just need to rebuild them–one moment and prayer at a time. God has always been there for me, and He always WILL be. I just have to trust my faith in Him, and His plan.

Realizing those all of those times I wanted to give up, I see that I was being pretty foolish. Even now, I still have moments where I want to give up because I am so tired of being let down, and getting my hopes up. Yet, there is this strange, powerful force within me that–keeps pushing me. It’s strange. Ever time I’m tired, and I don’t want to throw in the towel, some mysterious energy makes me get off my ass, and makes me try harder. I now see that this power, whatever it may be, has helped me in more was than one. If it weren’t for this “force of nature”, I may not even be here…This outside determination that saved me. This determination, along with the voices of my friends in my head and heart…made me the person I am today.

As end of one chapter comes to a close, I’ve started to realize how important the little things in my life are. I’ve kind of just written them off before, thinking they were nothing. Now that I’ve grown up in a surprising amount of time, I’m starting to see the true value of things. Like the advice I’m given by friends. I know have a problem accepting it, and shrugging it off like it trash it a habit I’m DESPERATELY trying to break. I’m breaking it one day at a time. The advice I treasure the most: The spiritual advice from my little Sister in Christ, Lily Nelsen. She has given me some of the BEST advice. And I treasure it more than anything because she ALWAYS makes me smile when I feel down. If my path didn’t cross with hers, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be on the road I am right now, if it weren’t for her guidance. I’m SO BEYOND blessed I can call her one of my best friends, and a Sister in Christ. I truly believe our paths were meant to cross; God saw I need an angel in my life, and He sent me Lily.

I think that once I graduate college, and I get settled back home…That’s when I will start living my life. For the past year and a half, nothing really life changing or exciting has happened. But, I do have hope that once I get that diploma, things will start falling into place. They just have to. Once I start taking care of myself, and I start doing things that make me happy…I’ll finally start feeling like myself again. Not that I don’t feel like myself right now–I’m taking baby steps to make sure I get right back on track.

As much as I hate to admit it, I have lost touch with myself. I became a different person for a while. But I had to fall flat on my ass to see that the person I had become–was not me. The beginning of this year was a bit rough, but now things are looking brighter, and better! I still have a long way to go before I am “fully recovered”, however some progress is better than no progress at all. I accredit that to my stubborn determination and resilience against the outside forces. I am no longer going to waste time feeling sorry for myself. I am going to keep my head held high, and smile as much as I can (Apparently if I do it a lot, I’ll live longer? What the heck, I’ll give it a try). As Cinderella’s mother said, “Have courage, and be kind.” So, that’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to be courageous, and be kind to others, as well as myself. It’s the perfect recipe for a better life.

Time sure has gone by fast. I wish I has Hermione’s Time Turner from the Harry Potter series, or a spell to freeze time, because now I just want to savor as much as I can. I’m afraid if I blink, I may miss something important. I shouldn’t worry about it too much; whatever I do miss…I’ll make more memories and important moments. A part of me is scared to graduate because it means that the real world is closer than expected. Then again, a part of me is excited because in twelve days, I can finally say this: “I AM AN ALUMNI OF LAKELAND COLLEGE!” And that’s pretty darn cool, the way I see it.

So, my awesome readers…As I’ve said this before, I want to remind you of some of my favorite advice:

“You are enough. You are so enough. It’s unbelievable how enough you are.” — Sierra Boggess.

I’ll remember to tell myself this every single day, if you guys do. Do we have a deal? I can guarantee, you will convince yourself, you ARE enough…and it will become your go to mantra.

Labels: How You Can Turn Something Negative…Into A Positive

A few days ago, my mom, my sister and I all went to the movies to celebrate my mom’s birthday. We all decided to go see a comedy, but there weren’t many comedies playing that night. However there was one movie that peaked all of our interests: The DUFF. It stared Mae Whitman, who voiced Tinkerbell in all of the Tinkerbell movies, and who was Mary Elizabeth in The Perks of Being a Wallflower. She did a marvelous job in the movie, and her comedic timing was impeccable.


Aside from being a good movie, the message the the film portrayed was very good. The main character of the movie was considered a “DUFF”. Designated Ugly Fat Friend. Now, you can guess immediately I had a problem with this acronym. Mae Whitman’s character, Bianca, was not fat or ugly. She’s freaking gorgeous! Even as “The DUFF” she was still stunning. Throughout the entire movie she manages to make a transformation for pretty tomgirl…to gorgeous bombshell.


Anyway, I digress. That’s not why I’m writing this blog. The reason why I’m writing this blog is because of the label “DUFF”, and in general…all labels.


These past few days have been kind of rough for me because I didn’t seem to notice I was labeling things around me. I saw what everyone had, and I felt sad and depressed because I didn’t have it–I didn’t have my happiness. I was subconsciously labeling my life as something bad, based on what others had around me.This was one of the major triggers for my “slump” I was in for the past few weeks. I just couldn’t escape it, no matter how hard I tried.

Another things that really got me down was relationships. Now, I know that sounds silly and petty, but I see it as something that is something I will never get to experience. Whenever I am surrounded by a relationship, out of nowhere comes the Green Monster of jealously. I am normally not a jealous person, but whenever I come into contact with something that is “love”-based, I get a bit repulsed. Yes, I know that sounds bad…but I want what they have. I want someone to care for, and I want someone to care about me. Another silly trigger that made my “slump” last longer than it should have.

The biggest thing for me that made my “slump” last way longer than it should have was comparing my appearance to others around me. I know I’m not the prettiest looking girl; others would tell me otherwise…but I would have a very hard time believing them. I have acne scars all over my face, I have a pooch for a tummy, and my teeth are absolutely hideous.I can’t even look at myself in the mirror because I’m repulsed by what I see. I’ve tried smiling when I get up in the morning, but I can’t…It’s just hard to be pleased with what I call “my body”. It’s for that reason, I hide behind my close; I don’t want people to see me.

And, to add the cherry on top of this delightful Sundae…My faith in God has been dwindling pretty low lately. This was the other biggy for my “slump” because I was starting to think that God wasn’t even there. I’ve been praying for: hope, strength, faith, guidance, and advice…I don’t think I’ve even been answered. I don’t even think He’s even been listening to me. So much has happened to me in my life, I don’t even think any of my prayers have been answered. God has never been there for me when I needed Him the most, in my time of despair and struggle.


But, you know what I’ve realized? I’ve realized that, even when I’ve been writing this, as well as in the past…I was the ONLY one saying these things. No one else was. I was the only one labeling my life like this. Nobody else around me was bringing me down, and I think that’s why I was in my “slump”…and why my self esteem has felt so low. Self-Labeling is probably one of the worst things you can do for yourself, and I am kind of disappointed in myself for doing it because if I would’ve known I would’ve gotten THIS bad, I could have changed my thought process…as well as my choices. But, it’s better that I am catching this now, rather than finding this to be a serious problem later on in life. Now, I can really start to make some serious changes. Hopefully these changes will help me pull myself out of my “slump”, and back to the happy, at ease person I once was.


The first thing to changing this bad habit of mine: realizing my Self-Worth. I need to start listening to, as well as believing people when they give me compliments and advice. They aren’t just giving me compliments because they feel obligated to; they genuinely mean them, and they want to see me smiled when they say them. Same goes for the advice. They don’t just give it to me for thrill of it, they give it to me because they want to see me to better, and feel better. I was being an idiot before for not accepting their compliments and advice; I shrugged them off, making them seem lesser than they really were. Reality check: THAT IS NOT TRUE! If anything, compliments and advice from friends are the best because they come from a place of sincerity.


I now see that…I AM FREAKING AMAZING! My friends were trying to help me see my Self-Worth. I am an amazing person that is: kind, generous, thoughtful, smart, creative, helpful, nurturing, determined, passionate, and dare I say it…beautiful. I’m not “model” beautiful…I’m “hot nerd” beautiful, which, when you think about it…is WAY more likable. With the “hot nerd” you get not only the looks, but personality as well! It’s a win-win, and that’s what I am…A WIN-WIN! With the help of my friends, I’m starting to see these things slowly but surely. And at least some progress, is better than no progress.

This labeling thing I’ve been doing to myself…stops today. I don’t know even why everyone else’s speed put me in a “slump” to begin with. Everyone moves at different paces. Hell, I know I’m moving about as slow as the Tortoise, and everyone else is the Hair. But I see it like this: since I’m moving like a “Tortoise”, I figure I will see more good things coming my way. And in regards to love, I, >>This Nerd Princess<< , will eventually find her Nerd Prince Charming…Who is just as creative and dorky as I am. And we will be “perfect” for each other; we may not like some of the same things, but we can learn from each other, having more fun in the process. But Nerd Prince Charming isn’t the love in my life right now…It’s all of my friends, and few best friends I consider family that are the love in my life right now. The way I see it…that’s THE BEST kind of love because that love can last much longer than a romantic relationship. I label love from your friends, best friends and family as “TRUE” love.

As far as happiness goes, I need to create it for myself. I need to enjoy the things that make ME happy, while not worrying about being tied down. I can expand my hobbies, do things outside of my comfort zone, treat myself to goodies or even dress up for no reason to make myself happy. I watch my favorite show, Once Upon A Time, every Sunday to make myself happy. Granted, I’m shouting at my TV the entire episode and the FEEL TRIP is more than I can handle…but I’m smiling at the end because this shows has given me something that makes me happy. Doing things for myself is what I should have been doing for a while, but I forgot what it felt like. Now that I’m remember what it felt like to make myself happy, instead of others all the time…it feels nice. I have to remember to do it more often because if I’m happy, others will be to. How I label my happiness, should NOT be based off others’ around me.


Starting today, I will no longer label myself, or my life. And I will no longer compare myself and my life to others’ around me. If I stay focused on what’s good for me, I will get a lot more done. I need to start worrying about my life, and if I do that things will start falling into place. I just have to keep a level-head, and a strong heart. I know I can get my happiness back. I know I can take care of myself…I know I can smile again. I need to embrace these “labels” and turn them into positives, rather than negatives. As my favorite Sierra Boggess mantra goes: “You are enough. You are so enough. It’s unbelievable how enough your are.”

I…Am…Enough. Plain and simple. No one can convince me otherwise.

Tell me what you’re running from


Source: Source:

When I wrote this post called The deer and the hunter, I had a completely different idea in mind at first. I started off writing about running. Somehow it ran in a different direction (see what I did there?). Here is where my idea started.


Sometimes when I’m running, I feel like I’m in a chase scene out of a movie. I’m escaping something behind me, and I’m too anxious to look over my shoulder.

Lately, Ellie Goulding, Florence Welch, and my new favorite artist, Charlotte OC, have all asked me what I’m running from.

I finally realized that I haven’t stopped running. I’m not safe yet. Danger still lurks behind. I’m racing as far as I can.

But what am (or who) am I running from?

First, the whats:

I’m running, first and foremost, from my anxiety. For months, I was a…

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Learning to breathe

I love this, Becky! It reminded me I need to learn to breathe, and find things that make breathing easier for me :).


Bought this today. I already keep a journal, but this one will be for my three daily positives and my thoughts. Bought this today. I already keep a journal, but this one will be for my three daily positives and my thoughts.

Today is my first day learning how to breathe.

In counseling, I learned about deep breathing and visualization. When dealing with anxiety, learning how to control your breathing is crucial. If you’re stressed, you can think of the most relaxing place you have been, and close your eyes while envisioning this place. The sights, sounds, and feelings.

Here is mine:

Greece is my favorite place I've been so far. Tranquil, colorful, and a dream. Greece is my favorite place I’ve been so far. Tranquil, colorful, and a dream.

Three times a day (or more, if I need it), I am practicing deep breathing and relaxing visualizations. I’m combining this with journaling my thoughts and three daily positives. The breathing is especially important if I catch myself in negative thoughts and when I feel the anxiety building.

I also learned about how the thought process works:

Source: Source:

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Are You There God? It’s Me, Miranda. Can we talk?

So, I know I haven’t written on of these bloggy things in a while. First just let me say this — It’s the Mid-Terms’ fault. In all honesty, I’d much rather be blogging than doing stupid math problems…or doing lab reports on genetics.

Lately, I haven’t been feeling like myself. I’ve been in a funk for almost four days now, and I don’t know why. It’s actually starting to scare me. Normally I’ve been out of a funk within 24 hours. This time…it’s different.

I looked at my GPA a few days ago, and instantly felt like a failure. I’ve NEVER had this low of a GPA before; It’s always been at least a 3.0. This time…let’s just say it’s way below that. Seeing this just triggered something in my brain, and started a lot of these spiraling thoughts. Once one thought popped into my head, more would follow. It was hard to think rationally after that.

Sometimes I think, “Why Me?” Why do I have anxiety? Why am I a failure? Why am I a freak? Why can’t I just be normal? Then thoughts like, “Your dreams are never going to come true.” “You’re going to be stuck in the same place forever while others move on.” “You’re not good enough, and you never will be good enough.” “You will never find love, and you will never be in love.” “You are ugly.” STOP IT, BRAIN! Just leave let me have some peace for once in my life! Go away! Just please…leave me alone.

It’s these things that were making me feel: hopeless, angry, anxious, unloved, stressed, useless…weak. These things were not making me feel like myself. Luckily, there was one other person who was watching me think these awful, and dreadful things. I think…It’s time that I got in touch with the Big Guy upstairs. I’ve been straying from Him a lot, mainly because I thought that he wasn’t there for me. I know that’s not true now. All of this darkness in my head, was just preventing me from seeing His light.

Psalm 34:18. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit.

I can definitely relate to this because I’ve had my fair share of heartbreaks, and my spirit has definitely been crushed. What this verse is saying is that no matter how low I may feel, God will be there for me and make sure my broken heart and spirit are healed.

Psalm 62:5-7For God alone my soul waits in silence, for my hope is from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation,my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my deliverance and my honor; my mighty rock, my refuge is in God.

How I relate to this verse is that when I clear my mind, and just zone out, I can kind of hear what my soul is trying to tell me. Once I do that, I can feel my hope, as well as my faith, gradually increase. He is the one person in my life that has been there for me even before I was born; I can trust Him with anything that is troubling me. Nothing can shake me, as long as God is there to protect me. He will protect me from harm.

Matthew 6:25,34Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?

So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

I can relate to these verses in more ways than one. I worry about almost everything in my life, which I know is unhealthy. I should be worrying about what’s good in my life, and how I’m taking care of myself. And I need to stop worrying about what’s going to happen tomorrow, when what I SHOULD be worrying about is what’s happening in the present moment.

These are just some of the Bible verses I’ve read that reassured me that God has been there for me all along, He’s just been busy helping His other children. My vision has been clouded by all of these anxious thoughts, which prevented me from seeing that God has been there for me the entire time. Before I was even born, He was there for me. I just forgot that he was there…but I won’t forget from now on. Whenever I feel like I’m lost, or losing my way…I just need to have some alone time, and talk with the Big Man upstairs.

I am the daughter of a King, after all. And since my Father is a King, I know that the plan He has for me, is the best. I just need to trust Him, and know that He wants me to succeed in my dreams. My dreams will become reality with His help.

The point of this blog was not to sound to preachy about religion (an FYI). I wrote it because I usually talk to God whenever I feel sad, lost or scared. I just wanted to share some verses that I thought were comforting to me.




I am a “what.”

The media asks “what” I am wearing.

I am photo shop.

Instagram filters.

Clever wit on Twitter, one forty letters or less.

I am nameless.

A face he sends Snapchat nude requests

when his girlfriend’s cross country

and he needs release.

I am legs,

curvy ass,

breasts peeking out from a V-neck black dress.

I am impractical red heels.

Dark lipstick smeared on my chin after too many cocktails.

I am collapsed at the toilet.

Weeping after he found another nameless face.

She answered his sultry questions with more wit than I.

I wake in a stupor of “What have I done?”

when the question should be


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