Learning to breathe

I love this, Becky! It reminded me I need to learn to breathe, and find things that make breathing easier for me :).

Humyn

Bought this today. I already keep a journal, but this one will be for my three daily positives and my thoughts. Bought this today. I already keep a journal, but this one will be for my three daily positives and my thoughts.

Today is my first day learning how to breathe.

In counseling, I learned about deep breathing and visualization. When dealing with anxiety, learning how to control your breathing is crucial. If you’re stressed, you can think of the most relaxing place you have been, and close your eyes while envisioning this place. The sights, sounds, and feelings.

Here is mine:

Greece is my favorite place I've been so far. Tranquil, colorful, and a dream. Greece is my favorite place I’ve been so far. Tranquil, colorful, and a dream.

Three times a day (or more, if I need it), I am practicing deep breathing and relaxing visualizations. I’m combining this with journaling my thoughts and three daily positives. The breathing is especially important if I catch myself in negative thoughts and when I feel the anxiety building.

I also learned about how the thought process works:

Source: weplay.co Source: weplay.co

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Are You There God? It’s Me, Miranda. Can we talk?

So, I know I haven’t written on of these bloggy things in a while. First just let me say this — It’s the Mid-Terms’ fault. In all honesty, I’d much rather be blogging than doing stupid math problems…or doing lab reports on genetics.

Lately, I haven’t been feeling like myself. I’ve been in a funk for almost four days now, and I don’t know why. It’s actually starting to scare me. Normally I’ve been out of a funk within 24 hours. This time…it’s different.

I looked at my GPA a few days ago, and instantly felt like a failure. I’ve NEVER had this low of a GPA before; It’s always been at least a 3.0. This time…let’s just say it’s way below that. Seeing this just triggered something in my brain, and started a lot of these spiraling thoughts. Once one thought popped into my head, more would follow. It was hard to think rationally after that.

Sometimes I think, “Why Me?” Why do I have anxiety? Why am I a failure? Why am I a freak? Why can’t I just be normal? Then thoughts like, “Your dreams are never going to come true.” “You’re going to be stuck in the same place forever while others move on.” “You’re not good enough, and you never will be good enough.” “You will never find love, and you will never be in love.” “You are ugly.” STOP IT, BRAIN! Just leave let me have some peace for once in my life! Go away! Just please…leave me alone.

It’s these things that were making me feel: hopeless, angry, anxious, unloved, stressed, useless…weak. These things were not making me feel like myself. Luckily, there was one other person who was watching me think these awful, and dreadful things. I think…It’s time that I got in touch with the Big Guy upstairs. I’ve been straying from Him a lot, mainly because I thought that he wasn’t there for me. I know that’s not true now. All of this darkness in my head, was just preventing me from seeing His light.

Psalm 34:18. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit.

I can definitely relate to this because I’ve had my fair share of heartbreaks, and my spirit has definitely been crushed. What this verse is saying is that no matter how low I may feel, God will be there for me and make sure my broken heart and spirit are healed.

Psalm 62:5-7For God alone my soul waits in silence, for my hope is from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation,my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my deliverance and my honor; my mighty rock, my refuge is in God.

How I relate to this verse is that when I clear my mind, and just zone out, I can kind of hear what my soul is trying to tell me. Once I do that, I can feel my hope, as well as my faith, gradually increase. He is the one person in my life that has been there for me even before I was born; I can trust Him with anything that is troubling me. Nothing can shake me, as long as God is there to protect me. He will protect me from harm.

Matthew 6:25,34Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?

So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

I can relate to these verses in more ways than one. I worry about almost everything in my life, which I know is unhealthy. I should be worrying about what’s good in my life, and how I’m taking care of myself. And I need to stop worrying about what’s going to happen tomorrow, when what I SHOULD be worrying about is what’s happening in the present moment.

These are just some of the Bible verses I’ve read that reassured me that God has been there for me all along, He’s just been busy helping His other children. My vision has been clouded by all of these anxious thoughts, which prevented me from seeing that God has been there for me the entire time. Before I was even born, He was there for me. I just forgot that he was there…but I won’t forget from now on. Whenever I feel like I’m lost, or losing my way…I just need to have some alone time, and talk with the Big Man upstairs.

I am the daughter of a King, after all. And since my Father is a King, I know that the plan He has for me, is the best. I just need to trust Him, and know that He wants me to succeed in my dreams. My dreams will become reality with His help.

The point of this blog was not to sound to preachy about religion (an FYI). I wrote it because I usually talk to God whenever I feel sad, lost or scared. I just wanted to share some verses that I thought were comforting to me.

Who

Humyn

Source: hannahaltmanphoto.tumblr.com

I am a “what.”

The media asks “what” I am wearing.

I am photo shop.

Instagram filters.

Clever wit on Twitter, one forty letters or less.

I am nameless.

A face he sends Snapchat nude requests

when his girlfriend’s cross country

and he needs release.

I am legs,

curvy ass,

breasts peeking out from a V-neck black dress.

I am impractical red heels.

Dark lipstick smeared on my chin after too many cocktails.

I am collapsed at the toilet.

Weeping after he found another nameless face.

She answered his sultry questions with more wit than I.

I wake in a stupor of “What have I done?”

when the question should be

“Who?”

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Your True Colors Are Beautiful Like A Rainbow (Never Be Afraid To Be You)

Dont-be-afraid-to-show-who-you-really-are-because

I’ve come to realize something throughout my years of schooling: I don’t have to be afraid of being me! And I’m still learning that to this day. It’s one of the many lessons I’m still trying to figure out the twists and turns to.

The reason why I decided to write about this is because after spending time with myself, and taking some alone time, I’ve really realized that the only opinion I should care about…is my own. I don’t know why I rely on the approval of others so much; that’s just unhealthy.

The approval of others is good from time to time, but, ultimately, it’s YOUR opinion that decides who YOU become.

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The quote that had helped me realize that I don’t have to be afraid of being me was a quote I’ve heard many times from the amazing Broadway Star, Sierra Boggess: “You are enough. You are so enough. It’s unbelievable how enough you are.” This mantra is so simple, yet the meaning is so deep and powerful. You, as a physical human being, are amazing! The amount of things you are capable of is astonishing! Don’t hide what you can do! Let that epic personality of your shine, and walk with your head held high!

don-t-be-afraid-to-smile-you-never-know-who-s-falling-in-love-with-it-love-quote

Smiling. A lot can be said with one smile, and a lot can be done with one smile. In my opinion, I think one smile can change the world. Your smile is A HUGE part of being who you are. Your whole personality can be told through one, small muscle action. I know for me, I don’t “smile”, or show my teeth, because I am self conscious. BUT…I make up for “smiling” by working my half crooked smile. That’s one of the few things I like about myself. I think my crooked smile gives me a sense of mystery, like the Mona Lisa. And like the picture says above, never be afraid to smile…because you never know who will be looking, and who will fall in love with your smile.

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Britney is preaching to the choir here! Never, ever doubt yourself! If you feel like you should do something…DO IT! Second guessing yourself is the number one downfall to being the best version of yourself. Don’t ever change. Plain and simple. Be the best version of yourself, and you’ll surprise everyone around you, not just yourself! Ignore the voices around you, because they only bring you down. Who cares what others think! It’s not their life…IT’S YOURS! Rock your life! Make every moment count.

You have to jump off the deep end an go for it! If you miss, it will be a learning experience. If you don’t miss…It’s another stepping stone on your end destination. You’ll never know unless you try.

Just like the song says, your true colors are beautiful like a rainbow. They may not always be seen because of the crap happening around you, but you know they are there. Once the rain ends, your colors will shine brighter than ever. NEVER BE AFRAID!. BE YOU! AND BE AWESOME!

Who cares about beauty? (We’re so much more than that)

Humyn

Source: huffingtonpost.com Source: huffingtonpost.com

While discussing women’s education and why it’s significant, a third grade student said, “Girls need to learn, too. It’s just about our looks. We’re so much more that.”

Smart kid. This is the type of thinking I wish the media would adopt.

From birth, little girls are dressed in frilly pink dresses. The first compliment we hear in life is that we are pretty, cute, precious, sweet, or angelic.

We are taught how to apply make up, and the media pushes their definitions of “beauty” in our faces throughout our entire lives. As girls, and later as women, we are taught that our beauty comes first.

Photography student Hannah Altman, currently attending Point Park University in Pittsburgh, recently did a photo series depicting the dangerous and impossible standards of female beauty. Through photographs of women splattered with glitter to represent blood, tears, and vomit, Altman shows how negatively…

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Taking My Own Advice

I can definitely relate to this. 🙂

Humyn

Source: Me Source: Me

With our friends, especially girls, we’re constantly giving one another advice. “You should do this.” “If I were you, I’d do this.” For many of us, giving advice comes easily. Sometimes we give out advice when our friends don’t even want it. We’re ready to help our friends make the right decisions, and hoping we help them avoid making the wrong ones.

I can’t speak for others, but for myself, I have realized that while I can give my friends advice without thinking, I don’t always take my own advice. Does this mean I don’t agree with the advice I give my friends? I don’t think that’s the case. I believe that I don’t take my own advice because I want my friends to be happy, and it’s easier to see what would make them happy. While I’m in a situation, it can be like living in a…

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Happy Single’s Awareness Day!

February 14th: Valentine’s Day. The most infamous day of the year where it’s commercialized and romanticized, thanks to the candy and card companies. I honestly don’t consider it a holiday. I mean, what kind of a holiday is it when you have to celebrate the people you love ONE day a year? Answer: It’s a lousy holiday! You are supposed to love 365 days a year! Not just one. I don’t know about you guys, but I plan on loving my friends every…single…day of my life, not just once for a pointless 24 hours.

Anyway, my Valentine’s Day started off a bit rough. I woke up this morning at 11:45 am, which is really late for me. I only got out of bed to use the restroom, and then I went back to bed. After that, I didn’t get leave my bed for another half hour. I don’t know what got into me, but I just didn’t feel like myself. I had this heaviness and tightness in my head and chest, and I felt extreme sadness. I honestly did not want to leave my room. I don’t know what it is about this particular day, but it just makes me feel alone for some reason. I never feel like I am loved by anyone on Valentine’s Day.

However, that all changed with one act of kindness. I managed to get myself out of bed to stretch my legs, and I leave my room to see if I’ve any important events. Then, out of nowhere, my friend Grace gives me this giant red envelope. I open it and it’s a GIANT Valentine! I had honestly never gotten a Valentine that was remotely important in my entire life, and she was the first person to give me one. And when I opened it, I cried. They weren’t tears of sadness, but tears of joy. It was that moment that made me realize that…I am actually cared about. And that I am actually loved.

Then, for the rest of the night I watched nothing but comedies and Disney. It was just the cure I needed. It also showed me something. It showed that I don’t need men to be happy. I only need my friends and family to be happy, and feel loved. And they made this Single’s Awareness Day bearable. I can honestly say if it weren’t for my friends, this day wouldn’t have gotten any better. So, this blog is to my friends. Thanks guys for showing the love today! I hope we can hang out more, because you girls make my days so much more exciting…and happy.

HAPPY SINGLE’S AWARENESS DAY, EVERYONE! Hope you had varying degrees of love today, and I hope that the other 364 days of your year are just as loved filled!