So, Friday after my band class I made the trip down to Chicago with my mom for my audition for AMDA New York City Campus. Let me tell you, the trip down there was a journey in itself. My mom, love her to pieces, but she nearly gave me whiplash she was driving so bad bad. But, thankfully we made it to the hotel safe and sound, and relaxed in our room for the rest of the night.
This morning, I had set my alarm for seven o’ clock so I could have enough time to get ready and have a little bit of extra time to prepare. Then I headed down to the waiting area where all of the applicants for AMDA were. There were dancers, actors, musical theatre performers and all of the above. The only bad thing about the audition today was waiting for my group to be called, and waiting in line to audition next. It’s all part of the experience though, the way I see it.
Now, while I was waiting…I could feel my pulse getting faster and faster. I was so nervous, I seriously thought I was going to forget the words to my song; thankfully I didn’t. I did forget a bit of my monologue, but I made up the words I forgot and I don’t think they noticed ;). Forgetting words is a normal thing when I’m nervous, but I just let it roll off me like water on a duck, and I think I did fantastic.
Another thing I was thinking while I was that, “I did it. I’ve talked about doing this for years, and never had the courage to do it in the past. But I actually did it. And I’m glad I did this because I proved to myself that despite everything I’ve gone through, I’ve stepped outside my comfort zone and did something to make myself happy.” I am beyond proud of myself right now. My seventeen year old self would’ve NEVER done something like this; she would’ve only talked about it, but never would’ve followed through. Now that I’m twenty-one, and slightly wiser I know I can do anything I set my mind to. I know I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and I know I’m constantly stressed because of it. But, when I audition, when I sing, when I act…I forget all about it. When I do Musical Theatre, it all melts away and I feel normal, and by “normal”…I mean FANTASTICALLY EPIC!
This audition experience was the first professional one I’ve ever done. If I get into AMDA: great! If I don’t: It’s not the end of the world, and there’s always another option. If I don’t get in here, I’ll go to UWGB; I like to think of it as “The AMDA of the Mid-West”. I now have to wait three to four weeks until I get my results. And, until then, I can’t dwell on it because I know I’ll go bonkers for thinking about it. Keeping an open mind is the best thing to do right now. This experience has also showed me that I have to be optimistic about the future. It may not happen for me right away, and that’s okay. The more experience I get the better; the more chances I get to audition, the more chances I know something will come for me. I may get offered a small part, I may get offered a part in the chorus, or I may even get that call where I’m offered a lead role. Whatever I’m cast for, I’ll be happy to take. As Constantin Stanislavski said, “Remember: there are no small parts, only small actors.” I learned from the very first show I ever did, sometimes the smaller parts are the parts that hold the show together. And I still believe that is true today.
Ever since I saw Wicked for the first time on Broadway three years ago, I knew that musical theatre was what I wanted to do for my career. I know it’s not the most lucrative, choice but I don’t care. I’d rather have a job that pays little, and be happy than have a job that pays a lot and be miserable. That’s why I love Musical Theatre. You can be happy singing eight shows a week, but also make other people happy as well because music is the one thing that allows them to forget about their long, tiring day. That’s why I want to be in Musical Theatre! I want to make others smile, and I want to help make their day brighter with a song.
I want to inspire the younger generation. One day, I hope to inspire other young girls to chase their dreams because besides singing eight shows a week and living my dream, I want to be able to provide and example for others that dreams are possible if you keep chasing after them. I know I’ll get my chance one day, I can feel it in my heart. And until that chance comes, I’m going to keep practicing and auditioning. As long as I stay: optimistic, hopeful and determined..There’s nothing that can stop me. I AM going to be on Broadway, I AM going to be the next Elphaba in Wicked (or whatever leading I’m cast as) and I AM going to make my dream a reality. I will not give up. I’m not going to be afraid to follow my dreams.
“If you can dream it, you can do it.” — Walt Disney ♥