Welcome to Purgatory, Earpers

This may be different from the blog subjects I mention or talk about, but I wanted to dedicate this blog to a show that has really helped me come out of my skin: Wynonna Earp. Now, I’m sure 95% of you are like, “What the heck is that? I’ve never heard of that show before.” The other 5% of you know exactly what I’m talking about. For the majority of you that are scratching your heads, allow me to explain…

Wynonna Earp is a fantastic show that mixes Sci-Fi and Western all into one. And so I don’t spoil it for you readers that haven’t heard of the show, just in case you might want to watch it, It’s about a descendant of Wyatt Earp, who, when they turn 27, they can wield a kickass gun to kill demons, or revenants as they are called on the show. The show has already aired S1 and S2, and is currently filming S3. This show does everything right from the writing to the cast; every single part of this show is perfect.

Now, why this show means the world to me is that it has allowed me to get to know some pretty amazing people, or as they are known…Earpers. Which, out of all of the fandoms I’m a part of, this is by far the coolest name to ever exist. Granted, I haven’t actually met any of these people in person, I have chatted with several over social media, three of them have to be my favorite YouTube reactors ever: Abnormally Adam, Divina of WhooshBangPow and Marcie De Feo. They are some of the nicest people I have ever met, and any time I’ve watched one of their reactions to the show, I always end up going “SAME!” and we’d end up having a full on conversation in the comments. It’s absolutely great.

What’s also pretty great about this show is that it’s allowed me to accept myself for who I am and allowed me to grow as a person. I can’t think of any of my other favorite shows that have that kind of power. Whenever I watch it, I don’t feel scared to be me. I feel more confident whenever I fangirl about the show; I always get the “Man, this girl is weird” looks, or I even get called a nerd fro time to time. But I don’t see that as I bad thing, if someone calls me a nerd I say, “Nerd? I think you mean Intellectually Badass.” and give them a smirk because I know I’m pretty freaking awesome.

The characters on the show have also allowed me to come out of my shell, especially Waverly Earp, aka The Earpiest Earp of them all. Don’t get me wrong, I love all of the characters equally, but as soon as I saw Waverly, I instantly saw myself in that character. I even thanked Dominique Provost-Chalkley, the actress who plays this amazing character, for the wonderful job she’s done portraying such a strong, down to earth, smart and kind character and how much it means to me to see a character like that, that I can relate to on TV.

Speaking of relatable, that’s why Wynonna Earp is so great. No matter who you are or what you look like, Emily Andras, a Queen and the show runner of this fantastic show, has created someone, some thing or a story line on the show any person can see themselves in. This show helped me figure out who I am as a person, and is continuing to help me grow. Granted I haven’t been a part of this fandom for very long, a few months at least, but with how fast I’ve caught up it feels like it has been years.

Not many of my favorite shows that I watch have such inclusivity like Wynonna Earp. From the art to the fan fictions I’ve read online, The Earper community puts out such a positive, warm, welcoming vibe that it’s hard not to smile. This show allows each of its viewers to be who they are without having to feel self-conscious about what other people may think of them. More shows need to follow this show’s example. In my opinion, Wynonna Earp is one of the best shows in the Sci-Fi/Fantasy genre right now.

I mean let’s face, what other show can claim that it’s leading lady fought Revenants and kicked down doors to save the day…while pregnant? Answer: None. Melanie Scrofano is an actual superhero, not to mention she’s an amazing human being who’s social media posts always manage to make me laugh ridiculously loud, and make me smile forever.

 

So, that is my dedication to one of the greatest shows, as well as one of the greatest fandoms. As Olly Anna said…I’m the only one that can write my story. And nobody else’s gonna do it for me.

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Whoops, My Bad…

So, I guess I have a lot of explaining to do…

Yes. I did set that goal of posting a blog every other day, but I have a very good reason…as soon as I left college, my computer went to crap and died. It took me three years to find a laptop, and wasn’t having any luck. I did the majority of the things I did on a laptop, on my iPad. Don’t get me wrong, that was fine but I missed the feel of a keyboard under my fingers.

Cut to now, and I FINALLY have a laptop! My dad bought it thinking he needed it, but turns out it wasn’t the right one for him. So, he gave it to me as an early birthday present. There aren’t enough words to describe how freaking happy this makes me!

With this new computer, I can FINALLY start typing up the book I started to write…Oh yeah, remember when I said theatre was my dream? Well, that didn’t exactly plan out; I didn’t give up on it, auditions are just hard to come by right now. But after all of these years, and with a little help from the show Jane the Virgin, I’ve realized that I want to be a writer. I want to create magical stories on paper, in hopes my eventual future readers can identify with the characters and world I created.

Having a best friend who is also a writer helped me realize this too. We’ve written plenty of fan fiction based on our favorite TV show, Agents of SHIELD. When I told her that this is what I wanted to do, she was 100% supportive. The fact that she thinks I would be a good writer means the absolute world to me because whenever she’d send me something of her to read, I would be in complete awe. “This girl is going to be big one day, and I’m going to be the first in line to buy her books” I keep thinking. I’ve always looked up to her when we were in college together, and I look up to her as a writer because she makes me want to better my own stories.

 

So, I am officially back! I have a laptop to write, and I will be posting every other day to my blog (if I can remember 😉 ). Because I have a lot of things on my mind, and a keyboard to click away…

Having A Constant: Why I’m So Bad At Thinking of Things When it Comes to Writing

So…This is an awkward situation. It’s been, I think, several months (3 to be exact….maybe) since I’ve written my last blog. I used to be so good at writing almost every day. Now, I don’t know what happened. I get writer’s block every few months, and when I do find something to write about or get an idea, I’ll put it on the back burner because I get busy. Then, when I do get some spare time…I forget the idea I had.

Anyone else have this happen to them?

One odd thing that I tend to experience, in my case any way, is that I’ll get my ideas for writing in my every day life. And that was when I had a load of stuff going on, i.e. school, pep band, concert band, choir and theatre. Now, I get maybe one to two ideas a day and they aren’t even good half of the time. Granted, it does help when I write with my friends; I get ideas up the wazoo! But since we all have to go out into the world and Adult (which by the way is dumb), it’s getting harder and harder to collaborate on our stories that we have in progress. We do write a bit when we have free pockets of time, but the majority of the time…I’m just sitting on my rear trying to think of another idea for a story that’s more creative than the next.

Besides books, comic books and their respective TV shows, and movies, writing is one of the few constants in my life. And even though it’s there, I feel like I’ve been neglecting it like binge watching the latest show on Netflix. I know that it’s there, but I have to put it aside because there are more important things to tend to (HA! Not when you’re a geek like me).

My fellow bloggers who have possibly gone through this like I have, do you have any ideas for me about how to keep my writing constant? And by constant, I mean maybe writing a blog entry every 1-3 days. I say 1-3 days because I do have put work at the forefront. But any ideas that will keep my creativity in check I would greatly appreciate it.

I ask for ideas because I really do want to get better when it comes to my writing, and I do want to keep it constant and not to just write something, then have several months pass by before I decide to have a new entry. I don’t want to procrastinate when I get a really good idea, then just burnout.

The odd thing that gave me the idea to write this blog weirdly enough: I was watching Supergirl on Netflix (a show I highly recommend binge watching if you love comics). I know, a little bit off topic, but it helped spark my brain! I don’t know why it helped but it did. And I’m glad it did; it reminded me how much I like writing.

So, I make this promise to myself: To the best of my abilities I am going to write a blog entry, no matter how random the subject or topic may be, every 1-3 days. And if I go past that…someone needs to help me stay in check.

Got it? Good. *insert thumbs up emoji here*

My Best Friend: The Superhero

There are a lot of superheroes and heroines I look up to; most of them come from comic books, comic book related TV shows (i.e. Agents of SHIELD and Agent Carter), movies, Doctor Who and the many books I have read. Yes, all of these characters have some sentimental value to me in more ways than one…but there’s one that will always be number one.

My Best Friend.

She’s literally a mixture of Amy Pond and Black Widow. I know that’s a weird thing to say about someone, but if you knew me and knew her…being compared to your favorite companion and super-heroine is HUGE compliment. However, that’s not why she’s number one on my list.

She’s number one on my list because she’s been through Hell, and yet she’s always come back smiling and stronger than before. Like most recently she’s been in the hospital for the past few days, but even with all of the crap she’s gone through…she’s been a trooper.

We’ve been friends going on three years now, and she’s always been there for me. Same goes for her; whenever she’s needed someone to talk I’m always there. We’ve got each others’ backs. She’s the Black Widow to my Hawkeye: The sassiest, most badass friendship there is.

Another reason why she’s number one on my heroes list is because she inspires me every single day to try my best. It’s her voice that’s inside my head that keeps pushing me to do better. Whenever I have an anxiety attack (which is happening more frequently these days, unfortunately), she’s always the one that helps calm me down. Even today, when I said I was worried sick about her, she reassured me that she was going to be fine and that she was only going to be in the hospital for a few more days.

Basically, without her in my life, I would be a wreck. I honestly don’t know what kind of a place I would be in right now if it weren’t for her. She has saved me on so many occasions, that she really does deserve a cape; she is my hero. And I love her for that very much.

We have FaceTimed numerous occasions, but the number one thing STILL on my bucket list is to fly to California, meet her in person, give her the biggest hug and tell her how much she means to me in person.

Another great friendship we resemble: Glinda and Elphaba. And, as Elphaba says in the song “For Good”:

So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you.
You’ll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart.
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have rewritten mine
By being my friend.

She’s not just my best friend, she’s my family. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Xx ♥

An Open Letter to My SHEroes: What I Learned at C2E2 2016

Hey everyone! I bet you’re wondering why it has taken me so long to write on this very blog. I have two very good reasons: Reason Number 1….Had MAJOR writer’s block; I couldn’t think of a single interesting to talk about. Reason Number 2….I was in a bit of a rough patch. Long story short, I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to get out of it, and there really wasn’t a whole lot that was making me smile.

However that all changed on the weekend of March 18th-20th.

That weekend was probably one of the best weekends of my life. I was so excited for that weekend, that I started planning it in September 2015; I was that excited. It was my second year attending C2E2, which is a comic and entertainment expo…or as I like to call it…NERDVANA! I swear, I met and talked to so many cool and interesting people there. My favorite parts, though, are always meeting the guests and going to panels.

This year’s con by far trumps last year’s. Why do you ask? I tell you why in the form of three characters: Supergirl, Alex Danvers and Daisy “Quake” Johnson. Or, going by their real names: Melissa Benoist, Chyler Leigh and Chloe Bennet. Words cannot even begin to describe how much I was fangirling, but on a scale of 1-10…it was probably a 12.

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First off, I have to start off by talking about Chyler Leigh. Not only is she my favorite character on Supergirl, portraying the incredibly smart, protective and badass Alex Danvers, but she was (and still is) my favorite Doctor on Grey’s Anatomy, Lexie “Lexipedia” Grey. On that Saturday when I was heading to her autograph line, I literally had to zig-zag through the crowd just so I would make it in time. And the wait was worth it. When she arrived, I got THE BIGGEST smile on my face and for some reason, but a funny reason, the song “Girl Crush” by Little Big Town popped into my head. Yes, I do admit I have a girl crush on her, but how could you not? She’s smart, witty, and absolutely hysterical! I seriously did not stop laughing while I was at the Supergirl panel with her and Melissa. The main reason I was excited to see her was just to say, “Thank you for helping me get through some of the toughest moments of my life”. Also, the hug I got before my photo op with her was probably the best hug ever…just saying.

Not only has Chyler inspired me to keep going after my dreams, but anytime I’ve ever had a bad day I would always pop in my earbuds, and listen to Chyler’s version of “Breathe (2am)” that she sang on the Grey’s Anatomy musical episode. That song always manages to calm me down, and put a big grin on my face. Along with that song, Chyler always does an AMAZING job at making her characters super relatable, and I think that’s why I love Alex and Lexie so much. Alex is the big sister and always looks out for her little sister, and so do I. Alex doesn’t take crap from stupid, absent-minded people, and neither do I. More importantly, she will do whatever it takes to protect the ones she loves the most and I do that as well. When it comes to Lexie, she had a big heart, she was intuitive, and she was always wanting to learn something new; all of those things I could relate to 100%. What made me really love and relate to her were the quirky things about her like: her favorite candy to eat when she was stressed were Peanut Butter cups, and Reese’s are my favorite candy in the world! She played trombone, and I ended up playing trombone for 16 years. She can draw really well on an Etch-A-Sketch; somehow I’m way better at drawing on one of those than on actual paper. She also gets attached to characters in books that she reads, and that is pretty much my life in general because I’m a huge bookworm.

“It doesn’t take superpowers to make a superhero. Anybody can be one. It’s just a matter of what’s in your heart.”

At the Supergirl panel, someone asked both Melissa and Chyler what does it take to be a hero and what Chyler said really stuck with me for the rest of that weekend. Literally anyone can be a superhero. Powers and a cape are just add-ons to the package. What really makes someone a superhero is what’s in your heart, living beyond yourself, finding something that you’re passionate about and making a difference with it.

On a completely different side note, I still think Taxi Brooklyn should have at least gotten one more season! My mom and I love that show, and I’ve binged watched on Netflix several times…

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The next brilliant Super SHEro I got to meet was Supergirl herself, Melissa Benoist. I have been a fan of hers since she was on Glee. Most of the songs from Glee I have on my phone feature her character, Marley Rose because Marley was the character that I instantly connected with. She wanted to be a singer, and was a songwriter and so was I. Because of her character on Glee, I actually took a Composition & Arranging class when I was in college because that’s how much of an influence that character had on me. Her portrayal of Kara (Zor-El) Danvers/Supergirl is just mindbogglingly beautiful. She is very protective of her family and friends, as am I; my family and friends are the Number one most important thing in my life. Kara sticks to her guns, and she doesn’t let anyone try to change her mind; people have literally told me that it’s impossible to get me to change my mind some times, because I’m so strong willed. I think my favorite think about Kara/Supergirl is that her morals are very strong, and that her head & heart are always in the same place. I take great pride in my morals, and I hardly ever listen to other people when it comes to making decisions about my life; I always listen to my head and heart, just like Kara.

“Never underestimate yourself. You’re capable of so much more than you’d ever imagine. You are so much stronger than you know.”

Being at the Supergirl panel with Melissa and Chyler was not only incredibly funny, but inspiring as well. When Melissa was asked what does it take to be a hero, and she responded with the quote above, I got chills. The reason I resonated with this so much is because I constantly underestimated myself while I was in college, and I still underestimate myself sometimes at my job. But after hearing her say this, it made me realize that if I stick with what I’m doing, I’ll even surprise myself! And wouldn’t you know, I have a Bachelor of Arts in Spanish and I’ve been working  at my current job going on 7 months now! I’ve even been going on more auditions for local plays/musical since I left college; granted, I haven’t booked anything yet but if I stay persistent and remain strong, I know I will book something down the line because my dream come true would be to end up on a show like Supergirl or even on Broadway.

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Now, meeting Chloe Bennet was definitely a moment to remember. On that Sunday she was there, I got there super early for her autograph line. The next session wasn’t until 2:30pm, and I got there at 11:45am. I waited in her line for over 3+ hours, but it was worth it! I ended up being first in her line, and I’m NEVER first for anything. That was an accomplishment for me.

When Chloe finally arrived to start signing autographs, I had to contain the fangirl inside of me. I had been watching her on Agents of SHIELD since S1, and meeting her had been on my bucket list for ages; getting to finally check this off my list was a dream come true. I’m surprised I didn’t start babbling when Chloe said “Hi” and shook my hand; I managed to hold my composure. But her saying hi wasn’t even the best part…

When I walked up to her table, her handler, he asked who to make the autograph to and I said my name, and she wrote it out like normal. The best part about it was I had brought an Agents of SHIELD comic book that had her character, Daisy “Quake”, on the cover with Hyde. She asked me if I wanted it signed, and I said “No, no. That’s for you.” The look on her face when I told her that was priceless! I had made someone I look up to smile! When I told her that the comic book was for her, the moments that proceed after felt surreal: Chloe leaned over her table to give me a hug for giving her the comic book, she called her dad over to show him the comic book because she had been trying to find comics with Quake on them herself but had no luck, her dad thanked me for giving her the comic book/gave me a high five, and she wrote “Miranda! You are The BEST!” on my autograph! I mean, stuff like that you can’t make up!

To add the cherry on top of an already perfect weekend, when I went to Chloe’s panel and I got up to the mic to ask my question, she said “Hi again” before I even started. I internally giggled to myself, and said, “Awesome, Daisy Johnson remembers me!” The question I asked was, “Do you think Clark is going to redeem Team SHIELD on Lip Sync Battle?” She couldn’t say specifically, but what she did say was that she saw Clark, and that he did amazing. That answer was good enough for me! Also, from watching her panel, Chloe was her natural, adorable, funny self while answering questions. What I got from that is I should love myself, love the skin I’m in and just roll with what I’m given; if I can do that, the rest of the journey called life will be a breeze.

Like the title of this blog says, it’s an open letter to my SHEroes. Even though it doesn’t exactly follow the format of a letter, I still wanted to write this blog just to say to these three amazing ladies: Thank you. Thank you to all three of you for being such huge inspirations in my life. Thank you for creating such amazing characters that I could see myself in, and identify with. Thank you for showing me that being a nerd is badass. Most importantly, thank you for helping me through some of the toughest times in my life by inspiring me to never give up, and to stay determined even when things get difficult.You ladies are the best role models I could have ever asked for. Xx ♥

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The Marvel DubSmash War Of SDCC 2015 – When Agents Collide, Everyone Wins!

The Insightful Panda

This past Season on Agents Of SHIELD and Agent Carter, we saw a lot of ‘almost’ Civil Wars: Coulson’s S.H.I.E.L.D. vs Gonzales’ S.H.I.E.L.D., Agent Carter vs the SSR. Thankfully those two resolved peacefully and it seemed like we’d have to wait for Captain America: Civil War to see the next battle. Well, we were wrong because a new war brewed this past weekend at San Diego Comic Con when all these Agents met up at the fists lip syncing flew! DubSmash War!

At approximately 8:08 PM on Jun 10th – sometime after the Marvel TV Panel – the challenge was issued by Clark Gregg (Agent Phil Coulson) and Chloe Bennet (Agent Skye/Daisy).

What was this strange new battlefield? Hayley and Atwell (Agent Carter) and James Darcy (Edwin Jarvis) were up for the challenge, but first wanted to practice a little…

… and then, officially accepted the challenge 2 hours later that…

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Four Years–Where Has The Time Gone?

Hello, my fellow bloggers and loyal readers! Sorry I haven’t posted one of these things in a while–been pretty busy. Anyway, I will try my best to catch you all up on what I’ve been up to.

First things first, I recently had my very last choir tour, April 16th – April 19th, with a homecoming concert that Sunday at 3 pm. I will admit, a part of me is going to miss it because I liked seeing the faces of young musicians light up, hearing us sing extremely complex and rhythmic songs. I also liked how being on choir tour showed the future of Lakeland College that you DO NOT have to be a Music Major to sing in choir. I, myself, was a Music Major for most of my Freshman year. However when I found out I had to do recitals…I couldn’t handle the pressure. In the end, I was happy with my decision to switch from a Music Major to a Spanish Major, with a Music Minor. The ONLY negative about choir tour–The excessive concerts. Yes, they are cool, but when you do 10 concerts in FOUR days…that’s where I draw the line.

But I digress, this isn’t a blog to complain. This blog is about reflection, time and accomplishments. In exactly 12 days, I will be graduating Lakeland College with a Spanish degree, and a Music Minor. I can honestly say, I never thought I would make it because of the stupid, complicated changes happening here, but that doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I did it, I actually did it. And to think, my Freshman Year, I wanted to drop out because I thought I couldn’t handle it. Turns out I needed time to settle down, and get a handling on things. I did have my trials and tribulations, but they all lead me to where I am now.

Another thing I’ve come to realize about myself over these four years–I’ve been straying from my Faith and God. I never used to do that in the past, I have no clue what changed. I guess it all happened when I found out I had Anxiety and Depression. I got so angry with God, because I blamed him for making me this way. I thought it was His fault because I felt like a screw up with my mental illness. Now I realize, He made me this way because He knew I could fight through the battles I was faced with, and come out on top. Granted, I’m still having some issues, like low confidence and low self-esteem but I just need to rebuild them–one moment and prayer at a time. God has always been there for me, and He always WILL be. I just have to trust my faith in Him, and His plan.

Realizing those all of those times I wanted to give up, I see that I was being pretty foolish. Even now, I still have moments where I want to give up because I am so tired of being let down, and getting my hopes up. Yet, there is this strange, powerful force within me that–keeps pushing me. It’s strange. Ever time I’m tired, and I don’t want to throw in the towel, some mysterious energy makes me get off my ass, and makes me try harder. I now see that this power, whatever it may be, has helped me in more was than one. If it weren’t for this “force of nature”, I may not even be here…This outside determination that saved me. This determination, along with the voices of my friends in my head and heart…made me the person I am today.

As end of one chapter comes to a close, I’ve started to realize how important the little things in my life are. I’ve kind of just written them off before, thinking they were nothing. Now that I’ve grown up in a surprising amount of time, I’m starting to see the true value of things. Like the advice I’m given by friends. I know have a problem accepting it, and shrugging it off like it trash it a habit I’m DESPERATELY trying to break. I’m breaking it one day at a time. The advice I treasure the most: The spiritual advice from my little Sister in Christ, Lily Nelsen. She has given me some of the BEST advice. And I treasure it more than anything because she ALWAYS makes me smile when I feel down. If my path didn’t cross with hers, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be on the road I am right now, if it weren’t for her guidance. I’m SO BEYOND blessed I can call her one of my best friends, and a Sister in Christ. I truly believe our paths were meant to cross; God saw I need an angel in my life, and He sent me Lily.

I think that once I graduate college, and I get settled back home…That’s when I will start living my life. For the past year and a half, nothing really life changing or exciting has happened. But, I do have hope that once I get that diploma, things will start falling into place. They just have to. Once I start taking care of myself, and I start doing things that make me happy…I’ll finally start feeling like myself again. Not that I don’t feel like myself right now–I’m taking baby steps to make sure I get right back on track.

As much as I hate to admit it, I have lost touch with myself. I became a different person for a while. But I had to fall flat on my ass to see that the person I had become–was not me. The beginning of this year was a bit rough, but now things are looking brighter, and better! I still have a long way to go before I am “fully recovered”, however some progress is better than no progress at all. I accredit that to my stubborn determination and resilience against the outside forces. I am no longer going to waste time feeling sorry for myself. I am going to keep my head held high, and smile as much as I can (Apparently if I do it a lot, I’ll live longer? What the heck, I’ll give it a try). As Cinderella’s mother said, “Have courage, and be kind.” So, that’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to be courageous, and be kind to others, as well as myself. It’s the perfect recipe for a better life.

Time sure has gone by fast. I wish I has Hermione’s Time Turner from the Harry Potter series, or a spell to freeze time, because now I just want to savor as much as I can. I’m afraid if I blink, I may miss something important. I shouldn’t worry about it too much; whatever I do miss…I’ll make more memories and important moments. A part of me is scared to graduate because it means that the real world is closer than expected. Then again, a part of me is excited because in twelve days, I can finally say this: “I AM AN ALUMNI OF LAKELAND COLLEGE!” And that’s pretty darn cool, the way I see it.

So, my awesome readers…As I’ve said this before, I want to remind you of some of my favorite advice:

“You are enough. You are so enough. It’s unbelievable how enough you are.” — Sierra Boggess.

I’ll remember to tell myself this every single day, if you guys do. Do we have a deal? I can guarantee, you will convince yourself, you ARE enough…and it will become your go to mantra.